High Performance & Setting Our Kids Up for Success With Elliot Roe


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Katie: Hello, and welcome to the “Valence Mama Podcast.” I am Katie, from wellnessmama.com and wellnesse.com. At the same time it is healthy, my new line of personal care products, including hair care, toothpaste, and now, hand cleaner.

This event is about mindfulness and specific ways that we can use mindfulness for both our home and performance, and to set our children up for success in life. I’m here with Elliott Rowe, a new friend I met recently, and a world-renowned mentor and performance coach. It helps people in high-demand industries unlock their full potential and perform on-demand. He works with everyone from professional players to many of the world’s most tainted poker players, including headliners, Olympians, UFC champions, Hollywood actors, Wall Street businessmen, businessmen, founders, almost There are many top actors in every industry. And I recently had a conversation with them about this mindset and how it translates specifically to parents, and I want to share that conversation with you today. Its unique coaching system benefits from hypnotherapy. And we are about to enter it. This word can have a different meaning to what you actually do. He also teaches mindfulness. And he uses high-performance strategies to help his clients overcome fears and break down their mental barriers so that they can work in a state of high efficiency and rapid personal growth at all times.

He also hosts a podcast, “A-Game Advantage”. And he’s the co-founder of an app called Primind Mind that I’ve been using lately. But as I said, he has extensive knowledge from working with clients in many, many industries. And where I found it so applicable, many of these top actors got stuck in the same path that was found in the early years of childhood and the little things. It had a dramatic effect on their lives, things that may not have been considered painful or harmful, but it did affect their lives or limit their beliefs. So as parents, I wanted to talk about how we can instill a flexibility and performance mindset in our children, and hopefully avoid giving them these hurdles first. And I thought Elliott was the best person to handle it, both in what he does and as a parent himself. I really enjoyed that conversation. I think you will too. So let’s join Elliott without further ado. Elliott, welcome. Thanks for coming here today.

Elliott: Thank you so much for joining me on the show.

Katie: Well, I have been seeing you in person recently, and I know right away that I want to share you with my audience. We had some incredible conversations when we met. And I was very impressed with the work you do, and in particular, you and I talked about how your work can be translated directly into the things we spend time with our children. With them you can cultivate a positive mindset. And we will definitely get into that conversation. But to begin with, I’d like to share with you the audience when you first met me about your background, and what you do, and who you work with. ۔

Elliott: Yes, so I’m a hypnotherapist and mindful coach, and I now work primarily with top actors, so Olympic athletes, CEOs of companies, professional poker players, and other top players in their industries. Trying to get to the location. But how it all started, I was a person who had a great fear of flying. And that meant I was really, really painful if I was just going on a short trip, and I really turned down vac vacations that didn’t cause me to get on a plane. ۔ I saw a hypnotherapist, and she managed to fix it in an hour. And it just blew my mind and literally changed the direction of my life because one, I could travel which was a big deal for me, but the process made me realize that I had to learn it. Want to So, through hypnotherapy, you enter into this extremely relaxed state, and then it begins to bring to mind memories of the past that explain the way you are behaving in your current life. ۔ And he reminded me of a three- or four-year-old boy being shown a picture of a plane at my grandfather’s house and told that his business partners had been killed. And it was a lot, you know; I suddenly realized why I’m scared of flying and why I don’t need to be. It was just a child’s reaction to something that sounded awful. And the interesting thing is that I didn’t really remember the memories before the session. And then after that, I talked to my mom, and I was told, yes, that’s exactly what happened. So it was as if a suppressed memory came and explained to me how I felt around the flight, and then solved it. And now I’m comfortable flying in planes. Because of this, I went and trained as a hypnotherapist about 11 years ago, and just fell in love with this kind of industry. I was expecting to help friends and family, and I started to pursue a career where I was very lucky to work with very high level actors in different sports and different businesses, to help them Make yourself the best version. So here is a brief description of my background.

Katie: So let’s talk a little bit more about this process of hypnotherapy because I think some people might have guessed that it was created by movies or maybe magic shows, and guess it’s something where you Take control of someone’s mind and body, for example, and drive them crazy. Can you explain the difference in how your action works compared to what might be a similar television version that people have seen?

Elliott: Yes. So one problem is that it’s called joint phase hypnosis, unfortunately, that’s what I do. And it’s nothing like your shows. So, the show you watch is a show. And there’s no magic in what I do. The best way to imagine what a hypnotherapy session is like, is it very close to guided meditation? So if you’ve ever heard of a meditation app or if you’ve been to a yoga session, and finally, you’ve done breathing exercises, this is the beginning of a hypothetical session. With meditation, you want to get to that relaxed state and then release your thoughts as soon as they come to your mind. And that is the process of mindfulness meditation. In hypnotherapy, we look forward to reaching the same deep transition, but instead of freeing thoughts, we seek to focus intensely on an idea or an emotion. So, in the case I’m talking about, I had a great fear of flying, which is what we were focusing on. And then it allows us unconscious people to show where those fears or programs are coming from. So there is no magic, no one is controlled, but it allows you to present memories and memories of the process in such a way that you will not be able to do it in a normal talking therapy session.

Katie: That makes sense. Okay, so let’s talk about consciousness because that’s what I’ve done in the last two years in some traumatic work. And I had to explain talk therapy and other types of therapy. Their attention is largely focused on our consciousness and we are aware of what we know, but it can lead to many things, such as, then we will fall into it, limit beliefs or something. Sabotage the things we are trying to do. To accomplish, most are unconscious. And we may not even know they’re there, which is really frustrating because it’s hard to work on something if you don’t know it exists. So, run us in some kind of conversation with the subconscious and how does what you do help you go into the subconscious and find these things?

Elliott: So, I think that’s a great way to explain that, in a talking therapy session, you’re dealing with a conscious mind because you’re consciously answering questions that Physicians are putting through you. And it can be very useful, but you need to know that if you have blind spots or are running awareness programs that you are not aware of, cover them. It will be very difficult. Hypnotherapy is an interesting method because you are working in the subconscious mind instead of the conscious mind. So, you are reaching the state, between sleeping and waking up or in a state where if you are driving on a long highway, and you lose a few junctions in your mind, you will not remember. They are, but you are still driving safely, this is where you are getting. And that’s when the subconscious mind comes to mind and you’re effectively on autopilot. Now, one way to estimate this when dealing with two separate parts is that your conscious mind is something like the Windows operating system that you see on your computer, while the unconscious mind is the code that Windows Is running And all I do is revive this code, instead of moving the boxes on the window screen because we want to change the program. We don’t want to change, you know what happens every day, we want to change why things are happening and where the program is coming from.

Katie: Understood, can you give us some examples? Obviously, I know you don’t have to reveal any personal details of the person you work with, but maybe, like the general, or if you can, give anonymous examples of how you can Come with clients for

Elliott: Yes, of course. So, the one who can come up most often, the ones who get very active, are very angry in the matter of entitlement. So, something comes up, it seems unfair, and then they respond emotionally in a way that makes them want to be loud, restless, restless, unwilling. We start tracking it. Often, childhood memories come to you when you are accused of something you did not do and are being punished, parents talk to you in a certain way and you think you Losing your love, or it’s not worth it because they are blaming you for something you haven’t done. Another thing that comes up very often is the delay. So, you have someone who is a great actor, he is very intelligent, but he is struggling to do what he needs to do to be the best in the world in whatever he is doing. As we find out, they often talk about being in school, and in the early years of school, it doesn’t take much effort to get the best grades. But then as things get harder, don’t keep working because it’s the protection of the ego. So they can say, “If I worked hard, I would get A, but I have the material to get B because I know I don’t have to work hard.” When it comes to delays it manifests itself with a large number of people because it feels safer for them not to try their best effectively because It protects the ego if it does its best, and then they will not help it. Get the A they want. And this whole life, and their business, and their relationships continue, that not putting 100 in makes them safer than if they give 100% and then find out that their ego They may not achieve the success they expect.

Katie: I’m glad you raised the issue of Anna’s safety. کیا آپ اس کی وضاحت تھوڑی بہت گہرائی میں کرسکتے ہیں کیوں کہ مجھے معلوم ہے کہ ہم نے اس کے بارے میں بات کی ہے اور یہ ایسی چیز ہے کہ حقیقت میں ہمارے جسم کو ہماری حفاظت کرنے والی چیز ہے۔ اور کسی بھی چیز کی طرح ، یہ نہیں ہے کہ ہمارا دماغ یا ہمارے جسم ہمارے خلاف کام کرنے کی کوشش کر رہے ہیں۔ یہ دراصل مخالف ہے۔ وہ ہماری حفاظت کے لئے کوشاں ہیں۔ لیکن کبھی کبھی ، ہم نے یہ پیغام نہیں بھیجا کہ انہیں اب ہماری حفاظت کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں ہے۔ لیکن اس کے بارے میں بات کریں ، انا کا تحفظ کیا ہے ، اور ان طریقوں سے جو اس کے سر کو پیچھے کرسکتے ہیں۔

ایلیٹ: لہذا ، جب انا کے تحفظ کی بات آتی ہے تو ، آپ میں سے ایک حصہ ایسا ہے جو یہ دعوی کرنے کے قابل ہونا چاہتا ہے کہ اس کا مکمل کنٹرول ہے۔ تو تفصیل کی طرح ، میں صرف چند لمحے پہلے ہی دے رہا تھا ، وہ بچہ جو سخت محنت نہیں کرتے ہوئے اپنے نتائج کو اپنے کنٹرول میں محسوس کرنا چاہتا ہے ، اس نے کنٹرول برقرار رکھا ہے اور انا کو بتایا ، کہ اگر وہ کام کرتے تو وہ کامیاب ہوجاتے۔ کام کرتے ہیں ، اور اس سے زندگی میں ایک سطح کا کنٹرول ملتا ہے جو خطرہ مول لے کر 100٪ ہوجاتا تو وہاں نہ ہوتا۔ اور یہ اس وقت سامنے آتا ہے جب انا کو تکلیف ہوتی ہے ایسا لگتا ہے کہ کامیابی کے صلہ سے بھی زیادہ تکلیف دہ ہوگی جو ممکنہ طور پر آجائے۔ لہذا ، یہ ہے کہ آپ اپنے آپ کو ان جذبات سے بچا رہے ہوں گے جو سامنے آئیں گے ، آئیے ایک ایسے تعلقات کے ارد گرد کہتے ہیں جہاں ہم سب لوگوں کو جانتے ہیں اور ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، ہم نے خود کچھ تعلقات میں یہ کام کیا ہے ، مجھے یقین ہے ، کہ ہم کہاں نہیں ہیں the t the the give the relationship………. because because because………………………………………………………. اگرچہ اگر ہم خود کو 100٪ نہیں دیتے تو ہم پھر بھی پیچھے ہٹ سکتے ہیں اور ہم محسوس کرسکتے ہیں کہ ہم اس صورتحال پر قابو پالیں ، اور ہم واقعتا کبھی بھی اس شخص کے ساتھ ویسے نہیں رہنا چاہتے ہیں۔ لیکن یہ لفظی زندگی کے کسی بھی شعبے میں ظاہر ہوسکتا ہے۔ اور جیسا کہ آپ نے کہا ، لا شعور یہ مانتا ہے کہ اس سے آپ کو یہ یقین کرنے میں مدد مل رہی ہے کہ یہ آپ کو محفوظ رکھے گا ، اور اس طرح کے کام کے تحت اوچیت شعور کو اس پروگرام کو چلانے کے لئے تربیت دی جارہی ہے جو ایک 30 سالہ ، 40 سال کے لئے مفید ہے ، بجائے اس کے کہ آپ 5 سال کی عمر میں اس پروگرام کو چلائیں ، جب آپ کی عمر 7 سال تھی ، جس میں سے بہت سارے پروگرام آرہے ہیں۔ لہذا جب ہم خود کو یہ چیزیں کرتے ہوئے پاتے ہیں جو ہماری بالغ زندگی میں کوئی معنی نہیں رکھتے ہیں تو ، اس کی وجہ زندگی کے سیاق و سباق اور ایک پروگرام ہے جو ہم نے بچپن میں بنایا تھا۔ اور شاید جب ہم اپنے 30 ، 40 ، اور 50 کی دہائی میں ہوں گے تو ہمیں جس طرح سوچنے کا سوچ رہے ہیں اس کو بنانے کے انچارج کو نہیں ہونا چاہئے تھا۔

کیٹی: یہ وہ چیز تھی جو مجھے حیرت زدہ تھی۔ میں نے پچھلے کچھ سالوں سے اس اندرونی کام کو جو میں نے کیا ہے ، اور میں نے پوڈ کاسٹ پر اس میں سے کچھ کے بارے میں بات کی ہے ، مجھے کچھ انتہائی سخت چیزوں کا سامنا کرنا پڑا تھا جس کے بارے میں میں جانتا تھا کہ اس کا تعلق صدمے سے ہو گا اور جن چیزوں کے ل I مجھے کام کرنے کی ضرورت تھی جیسے جنسی صدمے کی طرح۔ لیکن مجھے حیرت کی بات یہ تھی کہ ان چیزوں کی تعداد جو بچپن سے سامنے آئیں ایسا لگتا تھا کہ انہیں کسی حد تک نسبتاign اہمیت کا حامل ہونا چاہئے ، یا وہ صرف چھوٹے لمحے تھے ، یا ایسی باتیں جنہیں لوگوں نے کہا تھا کہ کسی بھی منطقی وضاحت سے واقعتا had یہ نہیں ہونا چاہئے تھا۔ ڈرامائی اثر ، لیکن جیسا کہ آپ نے کہا ، یہ چیزیں زندگی کے ابتدائی برسوں میں اس کی تشکیل کرتی ہیں۔ ان سب لوگوں کے ساتھ کام کرنے میں ، میں جانتا ہوں کہ آپ نے ہزاروں کے ساتھ کام کیا ہے ، جس میں بہت سی مختلف صنعتوں میں واقعی اعلی اداکار شامل ہیں ، آپ کیا کہیں گے کہ بچپن کے ان ابتدائی سالوں میں کون سا فیصد آتا ہے؟

ایلیٹ: میرے کام میں ، عملی طور پر ہر ایک۔ تو ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، میں ایک سچ belieا مومن ہوں کہ ہر چیز سب کچھ ہے۔ اور ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، ہم اپنی زندگی میں جو کچھ بھی کر رہے ہیں ، ہم ان سب پروگراموں میں جو ہم نے تخلیق کیے ہیں ، لا رہے ہیں ، لہذا جو بھی اس علاقے میں ماہر کی حیثیت سے میرے پاس آرہا ہے ، اسے سمجھنے کی کوشش کر رہا ہے۔ کیوں ان میں کسی قسم کی خود توڑ پھوڑ ، یا ناکامی کے خوف سے ، یا کامیابی کے خوف نے ان کو پیچھے چھوڑ دیا ہے ، اور پھر ہم ان سالوں میں واپس آجائیں گے کیونکہ اسی جگہ پر میں ان خوفوں پر یقین کرتا ہوں اور پھر یہ طرز عمل پیدا ہوتا ہے۔ تو واقعی یہ ہے کہ 95٪ ، 98٪ کلائنٹ جو مجھے دیکھتے ہیں وہ ابتدائی سالوں کے بارے میں بات کریں گے ، جس طرح سے انہوں نے اپنے والدین کے ارد گرد محسوس کیا ، چاہے وہ محبت محسوس کریں ، جہاں انہیں اپنی خوبی محسوس ہو۔ لگ رہا تھا کہ ہر چیز کے پیچھے پیار اور نفیس نفس کی کنجی ہے۔ تو کیا یہ ایک پریشانی کا ردعمل اور غصے کا ردعمل ، کامیابی کا خوف ، ناکامی کا خوف ، خود توڑ پھوڑ عام طور پر سب کچھ خود کفیل ہوجاتا ہے ، اور کیا میں کافی حد تک اچھا ہوں؟ اور یہ خوف بچپن میں بہت جلدی ہی موجود ہیں کیونکہ ظاہر ہے ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، ہزاروں سال پہلے ، اگر آپ کے والدین آپ سے پیار نہیں کرتے اور آپ بچ aہ ہوتے تو آپ زندہ نہیں رہ سکتے۔ لہذا ، ارتقائی طور پر ہمارے لئے سنجیدگی سے لینا یہ ایک بہت ہی اہم چیز ہے۔

کیٹی: یہ بہت سمجھ میں آتا ہے۔ اور میں یقینی طور پر اس میں خود بھاگ گیا۔ مجھے پیار ہے کہ آپ محبت اور خود کی خوبی کے بارے میں بات کرتے ہیں۔ اور میں نے جو محسوس کیا وہ تھا ، مجھے ایسا لگتا ہے جیسے ہم ہر طرح کا خارجی بچپن کسی نہ کسی طرح کے داخلی سوال یا بیان کے ساتھ ہے جس کو ہم سچ مانتے ہیں۔ اور جس میں نے مجھے بہت کام کرنا تھا وہ یہ تھا کہ کیا میں کافی اچھا ہوں یا یہ یقین کہ میں کافی اچھا نہیں ہوں۔ اور مجھے ہمیشہ ایسا محسوس ہوتا ہے جیسے مجھے اس کو ثابت کرنے کی ضرورت ہے۔ اور یہ دلچسپ تھا ، جیسا کہ میں نے کہا ، بچپن کے وہ چھوٹے لمحات ، وہ میرے والدین کی خاطر نادانستہ تھے ، جس نے میرے لئے اس طرح کے ڈرامائی اثرات کا باعث بنے۔ اور میں یہ کہوں گا کہ سننے والے بیشتر افراد شاید ضروری نہیں کہ پیشہ ور کھلاڑی یا اولمپین یا اعلی داؤ پوکر کے کھلاڑی ہوں ، جیسے آپ کے ساتھ کام کرنے کے عادی تھے ، لیکن ہم سبھی والدین ہیں۔ اور جب آپ اس بارے میں بات کرتے ہیں کہ بچپن میں کتنا پیچھے رہتا ہے تو ، سب سے پہلی بات جو میرے ذہن میں آتی ہے ، وہ یہ ہے کہ ہم والدین کی حیثیت سے اپنے بچوں کو زندگی بھر میں ایک لچکدار ذہنیت کی سب سے مضبوط بنیاد دینے کی کوشش کر سکتے ہیں۔ میں جانتا ہوں کہ ہم ان لمحوں میں سے کبھی بھی پوری طرح سے گریز نہیں کرسکتے ہیں جو انہیں بڑوں کی حیثیت سے کرنا پڑتا ہے ، لیکن ان تمام فنکاروں سے جو آپ نے ان اعلی اداکاروں کے ساتھ کیے ہیں ، کیا کچھ ایسی چیزیں ہیں جن کی مدد کے لئے ہم کر سکتے ہیں ان ابتدائی سالوں سے انہیں ایک مضبوط بنیاد دیں؟

ایلیٹ: تو ، جس پر ہم واقعی اپنے گھر میں توجہ مرکوز کرتے ہیں ، لہذا ہمارے ہاں دو چھ سالہ بچے ہیں ، یہ یقینی بنانا ہے کہ ہر لمحے ، وہ سمجھ جائیں کہ ان سے محبت کی جا رہی ہے ، چاہے وہ گزر گیا ، یا امتحان میں ناکام رہا ، یا چاہے وہ شرارتی رہے ہوں ، یا وہ اچھے رہے ہوں ، صرف یہ خیال ہے کہ اگرچہ ہم اس لمحے میں برتاؤ سے متفق نہیں ہوسکتے ہیں ، لیکن محبت کا معاملہ کبھی بھی میز سے نہیں اٹھایا جاتا ہے کیونکہ واقعتا جہاں میں دیکھتا ہوں کہ ان یادوں کی اکثریت سامنے آرہی ہے۔ یہ وہی ہے ، آپ کو معلوم ہے ، آپ کے والدین آپ کو مار رہے ہیں ، اور یہ محبت کے ساتھ متفق نہیں ہے۔ اس سے بچے کو کوئی معنی نہیں آتا۔ انہیں ایسا لگتا ہے جیسے وہ محبوب نہیں ہیں ، یا والدین کی چیخ و پکار اور چیخ و پکار ہے اور ، آپ جانتے ہو ، چھوٹے بچے کو خوبصورت خوفناک باتیں کہتے ہو ، چھوٹا بچہ اسے بہت سنجیدگی سے لے گا۔ اور وہ یہ نہیں سمجھیں گے کہ آپ صرف ناراض تھے۔ یہ ان کی زندگی کا ایک داستان بن سکتا ہے۔ اور ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، میں یہاں لوگوں کو ڈرانا نہیں چاہتا۔ ہم سب کے برے دن ہیں اور ہم سب ایسی باتیں کرنے والے ہیں جو ہمیں نہیں کرنا چاہئے ، لیکن زیادہ ذہن رکھنے والا کہ آپ ان چیزوں میں سے ایک ہوسکتے ہیں ، میں بہتر سمجھتا ہوں۔ لہذا ، جیسا کہ میں کہتا ہوں ، ہمارے فیلسوف کی جس طرح سے ہم پیروی کر رہے ہیں وہ یہ ہے کہ وہ ہر وقت یہ یقینی بنائیں کہ انھیں معلوم ہے کہ ان سے محبت کی جاتی ہے اور ان کی حمایت کی جاتی ہے ، اور وہ سمجھتے ہیں کہ ہم جانتے ہیں کہ وہ غلطیاں کرنے جارہے ہیں۔ اور یہ ٹھیک ہے کیونکہ یہ سب ترقی ہے۔ ایک اچھی کتاب جو میں والدین کو پڑھنے کی تجویز کروں گی ، اور آپ جانتے ہو کہ کیریئر ڈویک کے ذریعہ ایک کلیدی کتاب جو میرے پیشہ کے لئے کارآمد ثابت ہوئی ہے اس کو “مائنڈسیٹ” کہتے ہیں۔ یہ فکسڈ بمقابلہ نمو کی ذہنیت کا خیال ہے۔ اور مجھے لگتا ہے کہ کامیابی یا ناکامی کے خیال کو ختم کرنے اور آپ کے نظریہ زندگی کو لمبے سفر میں تبدیل کرنا جو ایک مستقل ارتقا ہے اس کی تفہیم کے ل that یہ ایک اچھا نقطہ آغاز ہے۔ اور ہم یقینی طور پر اپنے بچوں کو اس خیال سے شروع کرنے کی کوشش کر رہے ہیں کہ ہر چیز کو سیکھنے کے لئے صرف ایک سبق ہے ، اس کے بجائے کسی بھی چیز کی وضاحت کرنے کی بجائے کہ اب آپ ایک کامیابی ہیں ، آپ اب ایک ناکامی ہیں۔

کیٹی: وہ ایسے اہم نکات ہیں۔ اور ہم اپنے فیملی میں اسی طرح کے کام کرتے ہیں۔ میرے خیال میں جب میں پہلی بار آپ سے ملتا تھا تو ہم نے اس کے بارے میں بھی بات کی تھی ، لیکن جو کچھ میں اپنے بچوں کو ہر وقت کہتا ہوں ، وہ ہے “میں آپ کو غیر مشروط طور پر پیار کرتا ہوں۔ ایسا کچھ بھی نہیں ہے جو آپ کبھی نہیں کرسکتے ہیں جو اس محبت کو کم کردے گا۔ لیکن دوسری اہم کلید یہ ہے کہ آپ کے پاس کچھ بھی نہیں کیا جاسکتا جو اس میں اضافہ کرے گا۔ دوسرے لفظوں میں ، آپ سے میری محبت آپ کے کسی عمل پر منحصر نہیں ہے۔ تمہیں میری محبت کمانے کی ضرورت نہیں ہے۔ اس کا مطلب یہ نہیں ہوسکتا ہے کہ میں ان کے ہر کام کو منظور کرتا ہوں۔ لیکن میں چاہتا تھا کہ وہ ان کی ابتدائی یادوں سے مجھے ان سے بات کرتے ہوئے جانیں ، کہ ان سے بالکل غیر مشروط محبت کی گئی تھی۔ اور میرے والدین بھی اس بارے میں کافی اچھے تھے۔ لیکن مجھے اس کا دوسرا حصہ نہیں ملا ، مجھے ان کی محبت بڑھانے کے لئے کچھ کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں تھی۔ ایسے اوقات تھے کہ نادانستہ طور پر ، مجھے لگا جیسے یہ کامیابی پر تھوڑا سا انحصار تھا۔ اور مجھے لگتا ہے کہ آپ نے جو کچھ کہا ہے اس کی دوسری واقعی اہم کلید انکار کر رہی ہے ، جیسے ، غلطیاں صرف سبق ہیں۔ اور ، یقینا. ، ہم غلطیاں کرنے والے ہیں۔ اور یقینی طور پر ، بطور بالغ اور کاروباری افراد ، وہی چیز ہے جو ہر وقت ہوتی ہے۔ اور کچھ بہترین کاروباری سبق اکثر ان چیزوں سے ملتے ہیں۔ لیکن اس کے بارے میں یہ ہے کہ اس ذہنیت کو اس سے سیکھنے کے قابل بنائے گا اور اسے ناکام ہونے کے ناطے دیکھ رہا ہے۔ اور یہ وہ چیز ہے جس سے ہم نے انکار کیا جب ہم نے اپنے بچوں کو گھروں کو کولنگ کیا کیونکہ مجھے احساس ہوا ، یہاں تک کہ بہت سارے اسکولوں میں گریڈنگ سسٹم ، یہ غلطیوں کو ناکامی کے طور پر دیکھتا ہے۔ آپ کو پوائنٹس کھو دیتے ہیں جب آپ کو… کے بجائے کچھ غلط ہوجاتا ہے ، اور اسی طرح ، یہ آپ کو اس سے سبق سیکھنے کی تربیت نہیں دیتا ہے۔ یہ آپ کو تربیت دے رہی ہے کہ غلطیاں کرنا غلط ہے۔ لہذا مجھے پسند ہے کہ آپ اپنے بچوں کے ساتھ بھی سبق کی حیثیت سے یہ کام کرتے ہو۔ جڑواں بچے چھ سالہ بچوں کے ل That لطف اندوز ہونے اور بہت ساری توانائی کا ہونا ضروری ہے۔

ایلیٹ: ہاں ، گھر میں بہت ساری توانائی ہے۔ یہ ایک ٹن تفریح ​​ہے۔ اور ، آپ جانتے ہیں ، آپ جانتے ہیں کہ یہ کیسا ہے۔ یہ ایک تعلیم ہے جب آپ اس عمل سے گزر رہے ہیں ، جب آپ جانتے ہو ، آپ کو لگتا ہے کہ آپ جانتے ہیں کہ آپ اپنے والدین کے ساتھ کیسے جارہے ہیں اور مختلف عمر گزرتے ہی سب کچھ ایڈجسٹ ہوجاتا ہے لیکن ہمارے لئے پچھلے چھ سالوں سے یہ ایک حیرت انگیز تجربہ رہا۔

کیٹی: مجھے یہ پسند ہے۔ کچھ اور طریقے کیا ہیں جن کی مدد سے آپ اپنے بچوں کو اس ذہنیت کو بڑھا سکتے ہیں؟ میں جانتا ہوں کہ آپ کی عمر ابھی بھی خوبصورت ہے۔ لیکن ، جیسے ، عملی طور پر جیسے جیسے وہ عمر بڑھنے لگتے ہیں ، کیا آپ لوگوں کے پاس بھی ہے ، اور میں ایک منٹ میں بھی اپنے بارے میں تھوڑا سا شیئر کروں گا ، لیکن ، ان مہارتوں کی پرورش اور ان لچک کو فروغ دینے میں ان کی مدد کرنے کا ارادہ رکھتا ہے۔

ایلیٹ: ترقی اور ارتقا کے اس خیال کو سمجھنے کے سلسلے میں ، ہم ان کے بارے میں پہلے ہی کافی بات کرتے ہیں ، اور یہ صرف ایک سبق سیکھا گیا ہے۔ لہذا ہم کوشش کرتے ہیں اور اسے ان سبھی چیزوں میں لاتے ہیں جو وہ کرتے ہیں۔ لہذا ، جب وہ اپنی مصوری کی تصویر کو گڑبڑ کرتے ہیں ، اور وہ مایوس ہوجاتے ہیں ، تو ہم ان سے پہلے ہی ان طرح کے سوچنے والے عمل کے بارے میں بات کریں گے۔ اور میں صرف دیکھتا ہوں… میرے پاس اس کے آگے بڑھنے کے خواہاں منصوبوں سے زیادہ کے پاس کوئی خاص منصوبہ بندی نہیں ہے ، ان کی نشوونما کے مرکزی خیال کے طور پر ، کہ سب کچھ سیکھنا صرف ایک سبق ہے ، اور اسے بہتر بنانے کا ایک موقع ہے۔ اور یہ ، آپ جانتے ہو ، ہم ایک حیرت انگیز ، خوشگوار جگہ پر رہ رہے ہیں۔ اور یہ سیکھنے اور بڑھنے کے بارے میں ہے۔ یہ گزرنے اور ناکام ہونے یا کافی اچھے ہونے یا کافی اچھے ہونے کے بارے میں نہیں ہے۔

کیٹی: ہاں ، مجھے یہ پسند ہے۔ اور والدین کی حیثیت سے ، میں اس میں بہت کچھ سوچتا ہوں۔ ہمارے احساس سے زیادہ ، یہاں تک کہ میں نے یہ بھی سنا ہے کہ ہم اپنے بچوں سے کس طرح بات کرتے ہیں ، اس کے کچھ حصے ان کی اندرونی آواز بن جاتے ہیں۔ اور یہی وہ چیز ہے جس کے بارے میں میں اکثر سوچنے کی کوشش کرتا ہوں۔ اور ظاہر ہے کہ ، یقینا not ایسا نہیں ہے کہ ہم کبھی بھی اس کو بہترین بنائیں گے۔ جب ہم ان سے صحیح طریقے سے بات کرنے کے لئے جدوجہد کرتے ہیں تو ہمارے پاس وقت آ جاتا ہے۔ لیکن میں ان چیزوں کے بارے میں سوچتا ہوں جیسے ہم ان کی تعریف کرتے ہیں۔ اور اس پر مطالعے ہوئے ہیں ، لیکن کسی موروثی خصلت کے مقابلہ میں کسی کوشش کو تسلیم کرنے اور اس کی تعریف کرنے کے فرق کو دیکھتے ہوئے ، اور آپ نے اس پر تھوڑا سا چھو لیا ، لیکن اگر ہم صرف بچوں کو بتائیں کہ وہ ہوشیار ہیں تو ، اس چیز کو سمجھا جاتا ہے کہ وہ نسبتا somewhat کسی حد تک پیدا ہوئے ہیں۔ اور پھر اس سے وہ حقیقت میں نئی ​​چیزوں کو آزمانے میں ہچکچاتے ہیں یا خود کو اکیڈمک طور پر آگے بڑھانے میں ہچکچاتے ہیں کیونکہ وہ ایسا کوئی کام نہیں کرنا چاہتے جو اس سے متصادم ہو یا یہ ظاہر کریں کہ وہ اتنا سمجھدار نہیں ہیں جتنا ہم سمجھتے ہیں کہ ہیں اگر ہم کوشش ، یا سخت محنت ، یا کسی اور چیز پر ان کا قابو رکھنے کی تعریف کرتے ہیں تو پھر وہ حقیقت میں اس سے زیادہ بہتر کام کرنے کی ترغیب دیتے ہیں کیونکہ ذہنیت کے بارے میں آپ کے نقطہ نظر کے مطابق ، انہیں احساس ہوتا ہے کہ وہ اس کے قابو میں ہیں۔ . کیا آپ دیکھتے ہیں کہ اعلی اداکاروں کے ساتھ ، جن لوگوں کو بتایا گیا تھا کہ وہ ہوشیار ہیں اور اس طرح کے اعتقاد کی حیثیت سے اس حد تک پہنچتے ہیں؟

ایلیٹ: اوہ ، مکمل طور پر۔ اور مجھے یقین ہے کہ جہاں سے میں انا دفاع کا بیان کررہا تھا وہ دراصل آ رہا ہے ، یہ ایک ذہین شخص کی حیثیت سے ان کی اپنی تعریف کی حفاظت ہے۔ اور وہ اس کی حفاظت کر رہے ہیں کیونکہ یہ ان کے لئے ایک اہم لیبل ہے۔ اور یہی وہ چیز ہے جو انہیں ممکنہ طور پر پیار دیتی ہے۔ اور ، آپ جانتے ہو ، یہ ایک حیرت انگیز مثال ہے جو آپ نے ابھی ابھی دی ہے کہ کیوں کوئی خود کو محفوظ اور کنٹرول میں رکھنے کے لئے اس طرح برتاؤ کرسکتا ہے۔

کیٹی: سمجھ گیا اور ایک اور بات جس کے بارے میں ہم نے آپ کے بارے میں بات کی وہ ایک اہم پہلو ہے ، میں آپ کے مؤکلوں اور اعلی اداکاروں کے ساتھ بھی یقین کرتا ہوں ، اس کا شکریہ ادا کرنا اور اس کو فروغ دینے کا خیال ہے ، ظاہر ہے ، کچھ ہم اپنے بچوں کے ساتھ بھی فروغ پانا چاہتے ہیں ، لیکن یہ کیسے ہوتا ہے ذہنیت کے ساتھ کام کریں ، اور اعتقادات کو محدود رکھیں؟

ایلیٹ: عام طور پر ، آپ کے بہترین کارکردگی کا مظاہرہ کرنے اور بہاؤ کی حالتوں میں جانے کے قابل ہونے کے لحاظ سے ، شکرگزار صرف ناقابل یقین حد تک اہم ہے۔ لہذا ، ان چیزوں میں سے ایک جو میں کے پاس کھلاڑیوں کو ہر مقابلہ سے پہلے ہی کر لیتے ہیں اگر میں ان کے ساتھ آخری لمحے میں ذہن سازی کا فوکس سیشن کر رہا ہوں تو اس طرح سے اس شکریہ کو محسوس کرنے کے اس خیال سے گزرنا ہے کہ آپ اس کے قابل ہوسکتے ہیں۔ نوکری کے طور پر آپ جانتے ہیں ، بہت سے معاملات میں ، وہ ایسا کچھ کر رہے ہیں جو دوسرے لوگ بطور شوق کرتے ہیں اور وہ اسے کیریئر کے طور پر کرنے کا انتظام کر رہے ہیں۔ And instead of just feeling the pressure of the moment, which in a lot of these cases, you know, it can be millions of dollars either way, depending on how the competition goes. So it creates all of this negativity and all this pressure of, I have to perform today. If you switch that to, I feel so grateful for this opportunity to show everyone what I’ve been working on, then it changes that pressure into more of an excitement, and allows them to perform inflow, which really, in all instances, we’re looking for performance inflow in whatever that we’re doing. So being in the present moment, so whether it’s an athlete in a sport, a founder of a company, or even the way that you’re dealing with your children, if you can be in a flow zone, you’re gonna perform to your optimal, whereas if you’re worrying, if you’re running in an anxious state, you’re gonna have resistances that hold you back from doing exactly what you should be doing.

Katie: Can you explain a little bit more on flow states and what those are, maybe what’s happening in the brain during a flow state because I’ve definitely heard this and read about this in relation to athletes and people who are performing at the top of their game. But I’m finding more and more of this as actually something that can be really curated and important for mindset, even as a mom. So I’d love to hear you explain a little bit more about flow states.

Elliot: So what we’re looking for is to create… And I’m trying not to think of some states that people might be able to equate this to as they’re listening. It’s that stage where it feels like time is no longer relevant. So, you’re absolutely immersed in creating a piece of art, or creating music, or you’re in a sport and you’ve moved on to automatic, and your body feels like it’s going, and the mind isn’t getting in the way. It’s an absolute true presence. And we should all… Hopefully, everyone listening to this has at least one or two moments in their life, where they felt that sensation of things being timeless, of them being absolutely in the zone, as some athletes call it. Now, this is where, typically, people are able to perform at their absolute best. And this is something that I believe is a learned strategy, rather than something that just has to be random. So there are a number of things that seem to add up to this happen more frequently. So one is making sure you’re getting enough sleep. Another is just general health, and fitness, and nutrition seems to make a difference. Working through deeper anxieties that are getting in your way, which is the sort of work that I do, and then priming yourself before a specific event or action so that you’re prepared to do that. And that can be using these visualization or other tools, and most athletes will use a form of visualization to try and get themselves into this state or affirmations prior to competing. So this is about trying to get yourself into the state of as little resistance as possible and true presence so that you’re able to perform your activity, whatever activity that might be, as I say, you know, it can be anything from painting, music, sports, or just communicating with your children or your significant other in a place of presence, which allows you to be at your best.

Katie: Absolutely. And I think that’s especially important for parents, and especially moms because I think you, and probably see this in your family as well, but mom’s emotional state can often set the tone for the whole family. And so when we as moms are able to stay in that calm state more often, it has ripple effects for the whole family. And I love that. I feel like there’s so many similarities here between the mindsets of these high performers and also the way that moms have to perform on a daily basis, and all of the mental stressors that we feel on a daily basis, and all people that depend on us and our mental state. And so I feel like this is a really applicable skill for parents as well. On that note, I wanna make sure before we get too much farther, we talk about, you have an app called, I believe, the Primed Mind. And certainly, not everybody listening maybe would directly be able to work with you. But I feel like this is a great starting point for a lot of the things we’re talking about. So can you explain what that is and how that works with the brain?

Elliot: Yes, we created a hypnotherapy app a few years ago, called Primed Mind, which you can download on Apple or Google Play for free. And then, you know, if you like it, there are various ways that you can purchase other options. But what it does is it’s got specific hypnotherapy sessions for different situations in your life. So, increasing your confidence, dealing with anxiety, helping you get to sleep, starting your day in a good way, communication, relationships. We recently added a section for the current issues with the stress people are struggling with the virus that’s happening. So what it does is it allows you to take a break and get yourself ideally into that flow state that I was trying to describe. So you go through this progressive relaxation, which is the hypnosis side. And then this suggestion, that helps you really zone in on increasing an emotion that you want to increase or decreasing one that you want to decrease. So, there are a number of seven-day courses and things like that around health and fitness, motivation, confidence, etc. But it’s a very good starting place. If you’ve been listening to this and sort of your ears are perking up as to hypnosis probably isn’t what you thought it was, which for most people is a stage show, instead, it’s a powerful therapy, and it’s a free way to try that out.

Katie: And is this something we can use with our kids as well or if not, can we kind of convert these same things into activities that we do with our kids?

Elliot: So I mean, I actually use it with my children every night at the sleep section. They call it “daddy’s magic music.” So we actually have the sleep hypnotherapy playing in the evenings when we put them to bed, so we do use it with the children. Again, hypnotherapy, there is no magic to this. This is a form of guided meditation. So in the same way that children can meditate, they can utilize hypnotherapy also.

Katie: I feel like anything that leads to improve to sleep with kids is always a win.

Elliot: Yeah, I was really glad once they got to an age where they understood what I was saying in the videos because it improved our quality of life significantly.

Katie: I love that. And that must be fun for them, yeah, to get to hear you do that. I’m also curious, I feel like you have such a unique perspective from having kind of heard the inner workings of all these brains of high performers. And we already talked about how, obviously we shouldn’t praise innate traits, like being smart, for instance, but do you see any other commonalities amongst these high performers, maybe things their parents did or didn’t do that seem to have helped them to be successful in whatever their area is? Because, like I said, you work with people across so many industries, but who are all at the top of their game, so I feel like you have a really fascinating perspective on this. Are there other things we can do as parents? It sounds like the mindset piece is absolutely key, but other things we can do to help set our kids up for success in whatever area they choose when they’re adults?

Elliot: There’s certainly a theme that I noticed is slightly less around the parents and although it’s something that might be worth pointing out as you’re bringing up children, but one of the biggest themes that I see with high performers is them understanding that people doing something different to them isn’t necessarily wrong, and it’s something that should be investigated. So, when I see people who are pretty successful, oftentimes their ego is very strong. And someone else who’s trading in a different way on Wall Street or a company that has a different marketing plan, they’ll be very critical of anyone doing anything differently in their industry. With the very elite performers, I’ll see an interest in what their competition is doing, and a questioning of, “Am I doing it right? Is there anything that I can learn from my competition?” And I’ve seen that time and time again, through the very elite high performers are much more open-minded about what they should change than the people who are successful but haven’t quite reached the absolute elite level. And that is something you can foster. You know, if you hear your child saying, “Hey, you know, James is playing soccer differently to me, he’s doing this wrong,” whatever it might be, just reminding them “Hey, how is James still being successful? How’s he still getting in the team?” Bringing the idea of questioning, how can I improve and what can I learn from others who are different to me? And yeah, that’s just a theme that I see throughout. And another thing that it goes slightly against the high performance, but the people who I deem as most successful, are my clients who are the happiest because I truly believe that’s actually more important than financial wealth or being number one in the world in a sport or what have you.

And that really does come down in many cases for the client truly having worked on their self-worth and their self-love. And as a parent, the things that we were describing of making sure that your children are brought up knowing that you love them no matter what they do, and as you said, Katie so eloquently, this idea that not only will you not love them less if they’re naughty. You’re not going to love them more if they do something particularly good because the amount of love that you have for them is infinite already. It can’t go up and it can’t go down. That sort of message, I believe creates happier humans. And happier humans generally do more interesting things, help more people and live more, you know, successful lives. But as I say, in my mind, the key that being happier lives overall because I think that’s really what the aim is for everyone.

Katie: Two things I love about what you just said, the first being that idea that you see amongst high performers, and I think it’s so beautiful, that we can learn something from anyone, especially people who are doing something different. That’s one of our core values as a family that hangs in our kitchen is keep that inherent curiosity and realize we can learn something spectacular from every person we meet and every situation we encounter. And it’s such a different mindset when you enter everything with that because then you’re not judging what’s bad about it. You’re looking for what’s good in it. And I think that ties in directly to that idea of happiness as well. And I’m so glad you brought that up because when we talk about high performers, and the Olympians, and the actors, and athletes, and founders and whatever it may be, it’s easy for kids, I think, to start to paint a picture of those people as successful because they have money or they have status. And I think that’s another really important thing to frame for our kids is, like, those things can make life easier in certain ways or as I’ve heard, Naval Ravikant kind of say, you know, money can solve all of your money problems, but it’s not gonna solve your other problems. And so giving them that framework, that success is about happiness, which often comes from, I like to think of, you know, having a healthy body, a calm mind, and good relationships. And those are things that money can’t buy, and they can make it easier to get those things potentially, but to kind of separate that idea of success just being related to money or status, I think gives our kids a whole different mindset to approach life.

Elliot: And it’s fun the way sometimes it shows up with me because I’ll be working with someone who’s desperate to be number one in the world at what they’re doing, and we’ll get them there. They get number one in the world and they say, “Oh, I was expecting it to solve all my problems.” And, you know, then we go into the real work of them becoming a happier person. And, you know, money makes life easier, but if there isn’t a number, where suddenly everything else is resolved. And that’s why I think if you can, make sure you show your children that love and support as they’re growing up, then you are putting them in a position where they can be truly successful. And as I say, I believe true success is living a happy, fun, and fulfilled life. And, you know, if they win a gold medal on the way, that’s wonderful, too, but it is not the key to everything.

Katie: As a little bit of a fun aside, I actually would love your take on this, but since meeting you, I have been interested in learning, I’d never played poker before. And you mentioned working with a lot of poker players. So I’ve been, like, working on learning just as a fun experiment with my kids. And a couple of my kids that already learned and we’re pretty good to begin with. But with the school, I’ve mentioned on this podcast before, we’ve developed our own curriculum from the ground up that focuses on maintaining things like creativity, and critical thinking, and not just throwing knowledge at them. So I’m always looking for new ways to teach some of these core skills in a way that they find fun. And I’m learning, poker may not be the first thing parents think of, but there’s so much I can teach them about math, and statistics, and like reading someone else an emotional response and economics. If we’re betting… Like, there’s so many things that go into this, that it’s been a really fun learning experience for us, and also a lot of teachable moments, and I never would have expected you know, pre-becoming a parent that teaching my kids to play poker would be a valuable life lesson. But I’m curious if you do that with your kids as well.

Elliot: Mine, I don’t think they’re quite… We will do at some stage. They’re not quite at the stage, I think for poker yet. But definitely, and one of the things that’s wonderful about poker is, you know, it’s not like other games, like chess where the best player always wins. And because of variants in poker, there’s an element of luck that means you have to deal with the sensation of you did everything right and you still lost. And that’s so important for entrepreneurs because as we know, you can do everything right in your business, and just the timing’s wrong, and it just doesn’t work. And getting used to that in poker, I think is a really, really important skill that is hard to find in other games because typically, in most games, whoever’s best will just win. So the added variants can add a lot of emotional lessons for the children.

Katie: Yeah, I love it. Like I said, it’s been a really fun experiment, and they just view it as playing a game, but I’ve been able to work in so many math lessons, even the ones that think that they don’t like math are enjoying figuring out, like, “Oh, what are the odds of this via these cards, percentage-wise, this many people playing these many cards in the deck?” And it’s been so much fun to see all those gears start to turn for them, and it’s a fun bonding activity. But I love that also, that’s such a great point that you made that it’s also a good life lesson that just because, like, the smartest person doesn’t always win, you could have the worst hand and still win or the best hand and still lose. And that’s so much a metaphor for life in a lot of ways I feel like.

Elliot: Yeah, it truly is in so many ways a metaphor for life. And that’s why it’s so fun to work in that area as well because we basically just see all of human emotion amplified because they’re doing that at such high stakes.

Katie: That’s so cool.

This podcast is sponsored by Four Sigmatic. They are one of my favorite companies. I’ve been talking about them for years and they are well-known for their incredible and delicious mushroom drinks and products of all kinds. I have personally been starting my day with their coffee with Lion’s Mane in some form for years. I really like their ground mushroom coffee with Lion’s Mane because it works just like any other coffee, whether in a coffee maker or I use Chemex or a Ratio. And it has an added benefit. So, obviously coffee is one of the most consumed beverages in the world. Theirs is unique because it adds Lion’s Mane. So you still get to keep the benefits of coffee but the addition of Lion’s Mane really supports productivity and focus in a really unique way, and I find really helps cut the jitters. Lion’s Mane is one of my favorite mushrooms, and I love that their coffee contains it. They have both the ground coffee and instant packets, which are great for on the go and then I always keep in my purse, especially when I’m traveling. Their coffee with Lion’s Mane also includes a mushroom called Chaga. And you might have heard me talk about this on my interview with Tero, who’s the founder of Four Sigmatic on this podcast. But Chaga is known as the King of Mushrooms. And it’s one of my favorites because it is a really functional mushroom full of antioxidants and beneficial compounds that support the body in various ways, including by supporting the immune system. They have many other products as well, including single Elixir blends of mushrooms like Cordyceps, Chaga, Reishi, and Lion’s Mane, as well as several other coffee products, including one with Lion’s Mane, one with Cordyceps. I really loved all of their products that I’ve tried and my kids love their Reishi Cacao at night, and I love that it helps them sleep. A common question I get, does this coffee taste like mushrooms? Or people say, “I don’t like mushrooms. Will I like this coffee?” And I can tell you their coffee, especially the Lion’s Mane coffee tastes exactly like regular coffee, does not at all taste like mushrooms. You just get the benefits of the mushrooms without the taste. I have found that mushroom coffee is also very gentle on the gut. So it doesn’t leave the jitters or that crash like some coffees do and the Lion’s Mane seems to really enhance the natural effect of the caffeine. All Four Sigmatic products are organic, vegan, and gluten-free. And every batch is tested by a third-party lab to ensure that they don’t contain any heavy metals, allergens, negative bacteria, yeast, mold, mycotoxins, pesticides, etc. So you’re getting the highest quality product available. They are all backed by their 100% money-back guarantee. So you can try these with complete peace of mind. I love this company so much that I’ve worked at an exclusive offer just for “Wellness Mama Podcast” listeners. You can receive 10% off of your whole order on any Four Sigmatic products including their mushroom coffee or their Reishi, which is part of my nighttime routine. Check them all out at foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama and use the code wellnessmama, all one word, at checkout to save 10%.

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Okay, so let’s talk a little bit more. I wanna make sure people can find you and stay in touch with you. You also have a podcast, I believe, and you interview some of these high performers. I love your format because they’re not super long episodes and you really get into the depth of it really quickly. So talk about your podcast a little bit.

Elliot: Yes, so I have a podcast called “The A-Game Advantage,” and we bring on high performers, some of whom I’ve worked with, some I haven’t worked with. And we talk about what they believe are their keys for success and the lessons that they would like to share with people. And as you said, I keep it to 30 minutes absolute maximum because I just feel it is enough time to get the tips out, but it’s also enough time for you to be able to invest in listening to it without worrying too much about spending a whole day listening to me for three hours.

Katie: I love it. I’ll make sure that’s linked in the show notes for you guys listening at wellnessmama.fm along with the link to the app, Primed Mind. And also as we get close to the end of our time, I love to ask if there’s a book or a number of books that have had a really dramatic impact on your life that you’d recommend, and if so, what they are and why.

Elliot: So, the first one is the one that I mentioned earlier “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. I really think it has a very good way of explaining the difference between fixed and growth mindsets. And I think that’s the basis for most mindset work and really upgrading yourself as a person. So, that would be the first. “The Art of Learning” is a wonderful book for performance and improving yourself also. It’s just white skin. And he was a child chess prodigy, who became a champion in martial arts, using the same philosophy as he had used in chess to become a world champion in another area. And that was really interesting to me seeing the same processes work. And that’s what I’ve seen in my own work as well where, you know, a session with a stockbroker, isn’t that different to a session with a founder, to a session with a UFC champion, to a session with a poker player. Everyone is dealing with the same issues and typically, that’s the same processes that can help you perform at your best. And I like Toby’s work as well. So, “The Power of Now and the New Earth,” I just think are wonderful books, and I recommend to everyone as a way to perhaps recalibrate what’s really important in your life, and try, and get a bit more joy out of this experience that we were sharing.

Katie: I love those suggestions, and I’ll make sure those are linked as well. And then, lastly, from all of the work you’ve done with all of these people across industries, is there any parting advice you would leave for the listeners today, both for their own mindset or for these kids that were helping to hopefully develop a wonderful mindset for life?

Elliot: Yeah, but the message that I always like to really share is, understand that anything you believe about yourself, that’s a weakness. So I’m an angry person. I’m an anxious person, I always mess things up. Any of those narratives aren’t actually you, they’re just stories created from childhood, and they are resolvable and changeable. So many people believe that they’re an angry person for life or they’re an anxious person for life. But there will be a reason why your subconscious is generating those feelings, and explore the options out there, and give everything a try because if you do manage to resolve that core belief, it can dramatically improve your quality of life. So, yeah, that’s the main thing is that anyone who’s out there believing they are a certain way, understand you’ve learned to be a certain way, and I believe that you can relearn to be in a different way and live your life following, you know, a program that’s created by you at your current age, rather than a program you created when you were perhaps three, four, or five years old. So that’s my key advice, and something I really hope the listeners take to heart.

Katie: And for context, because you’ve worked with so many people, I know for me when I was facing all of these things, I needed to overcome, and especially the bigger traumas, it seemed a little bit insurmountable. And then after I had worked through them, I was surprised in some ways, how some parts of that were actually much easier to get through than I expected them to be. And so I’m curious, is this like an incredibly long process for a lot of people or do you see people actually once they start to think of it in this way and to address those subconscious things because some of these things be a pretty quick process to resolve?

Elliot: In some cases, it can be very fast, as I say, I mean, I believed I was scared of flying and that I would never find it comfortable, and it was resolved in an hour. With hypnotherapy, it’s often much faster than talk therapy. You should notice substantial change within 5 to 10 sessions. And I just want to put that in context, make sure you’re speaking to a hypnotherapist who specializes in regression, which is working through memories. So, that’s what I’d recommend if you’re searching for a hypnotherapist. But yeah, 5 to 10 sessions, you should notice dramatic change. But the truth of it is that there’s always more work to do, and it depends how deep that you’d like to go. So, early sessions, you’re usually covering a lot of the significant trauma that’s causing these major issues, these faulty programs that you’re running. And then for some people, I work with them for a very long time because they’re looking to continually fine-tune, and fine-tune, and fine-tune because they’re looking specifically to be literally the number one in the world or something. So you can really take it as far as you want to go. But I would say, certainly consider 5 to 10 sessions of hypnotherapy to work on your deep, subconscious programs and issues. And in most cases, that will be enough to see pretty significant change if you’re working with the right person.

Katie: Awesome. That makes complete sense. And I love your perspective on this. I think it’s so helpful, like I said, as parents but also for us individually. And I’ll make sure that all the resources that you’ve mentioned, as well as link to find you and to keep learning from you, are all in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So you guys check that out. Elliot’s a wealth of knowledge, so much to learn, and I’ve been using the Prime Mind app, and would recommend that highly, as well. But Elliot, I know from talking to you how valuable your time is, and I really, really appreciate you taking this hour and sharing with us today.

Elliot: Great, thank you so much for having me on the show.

Katie: And thank you as always for sharing your most valuable asset, your time with us today. We’re both so grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the “Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.



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